Seasons changing.

I logged on to facebook today, as does everyone in the world, and noticed various albums that had been uploaded by various friends and acquaintances from Hampshire, all entitled "Easter Keg Hunt 2012."
Easter Keg Hunt is a Hampshire tradition where everyone (well, anyone who wants to...) wakes up at the crack of crack on Easter morning to venture into the woods surrounding the school and look for/dig up kegs that have been buried by upperclassmen. Then they proceed to tap the keg and drink beer until the dining hall opens for brunch.

THE most stupid idea I've ever heard of, but I clearly never participated, and now not so sadly I'll never get the chance.

In any case, that doesn't make me miss school or Hampshire.

But living with family, no matter how wonderful of a family they might be comparatively, and feeling this perpetual "stuckness" day in, and day out...does not make me feel so great about leaving school. I know I am most likely much happier...having removed myself from an environment that was not supportive or stress-free in any way...but nevertheless, I can't seem to say that I really feel the happiest here, where I am at right now.

But this is why I am writing this down. Because it is at times like these, where I have a huge funk blocking my who emotional state, where I desperately need to sit down and write, and think, and remember what it is I am doing, what I am capable of, and how I can get through whatever it is I need to get through to get to "the other side" so to speak.

Here are my funks;

I desperately miss school. I am sick and tired of anxiously waiting to hear back from schools.
Living at home is NOT working, though I have been trying very hard to put on my happy face and manage as much as I can.
I feel lonely, save for a few saving graces who have been there for rants over coffee.
I miss Scott. And I am really really tired of missing Scott.
Frankly, I am tired of waiting to get back to my life.

And here are the reasons why everything is not-that-bad and how everything will get better;

I *SHOULD* theoretically hear back from all schools within the next three weeks. At least the ones that matter.
I AM trying pretty hard to manage living at home, which involves not being at home most of the time, and realizing that my sister is my sister and will always be the way she is. I can survive for another four months. I think.
Although I do often feel lonely, I still manage to find time to talk to old friends, I have new friends from work that I see often, and as soon as I go back to school, I shall *hopefully* find even newer ones.
I miss Scott. That never changes. But he needs to focus, I will see him in less than two weeks, and then we've got about a month and a half to go before he graduates.
Life is going to happen. And I will write a book list after this so that I can get through as many books as I can before the deadline to begin my next chapter happens.

I've been a crankypants pain in the bum to many, no more than I have been to myself, but now I am in the homestretch. I do think it is important to figure out ways to release yourself, whether it is stress or little recurrent frustrations, or just some bursts of creative/productive energy. And being the crazy person that I am, I think I need to start making lists and countdown days, and activities for myself that will keep my craziness in check.

Spring is here. Time to fight the allergies, read a lot, and get through the next few months.
Everything should be a breeze... *crosses fingers*