Monday, January 23, 2012

One Inevitable Anxiety of Life

I'm sitting at work, and have been thinking about this subject for awhile, but what better environment to reflect?

I see a lot of parents come through the store with their kiddo(s)...sometimes one, sometimes four...and some days I smile at the soft, calm blue-eyed babies, and other days I politely ignore the yelling between parent and child.

Last night (and in the past few days) I've noticed my parents have talked of or have shown me their own ways of parenting and just living with families in general. Having had a few problems with siblings, I was forced to ask my mother to come and parent her two adult daughters because we just couldn't (and can't seem to...) "get along", especially with the added stress of sharing a room.

And then seeing Zofia as the only real "kid" in the house...some days she's a typical five year old sister, rambunctious but creative, other days I find myself doing a bit of my own parenting. Specifically when it comes to manners. Poor kid...she has three siblings but five parents.

So this gets me thinking about my own future parenting. And this may shock people, that I of all people would ever think about producing offspring...including my own mother who thought it was rather endearing while also slightly off-putting when I told her I didn't understand why people would wait only a year or two after giving birth to have another one. "My kid has gotta be able to wipe his own arse before I have another one!" Direct quote.

Can't I think about what I would do if I were to become a parent without people getting all excited or weirded out that Heather is even considering having children?? Sheesh...

Perhaps being in a serious (now 1-plus year) relationship makes me become all mushy, and my maternal clock has started tick---- wait! Nope. That's definitely not it. IF and WHEN children ever came into the picture, I can reevaluate some of my own parenting experiences and/or upbringing. And I can tell you right now, I want a life before children. And then I can consider a wonderful life WITH them. Perhaps? Who knows? Let's not plan too far ahead.

Scott and I can't even plan as far ahead as where we'll both be in the Fall...finishing undergrad and starting dental school.

But I digress.

The point is, everyone has their own ideas about what makes a decent parent. And having experienced several different versions of parenting (mother and father, single mother, mother and stepfather, father and stepmother...), and coming to an age where your parents' many and human flaws are exposed, I can tell you this much.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, knows what they're doing.

Great way to not terrify yourself, Heather. Way to go!

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