So after the crappy last couple of days in which I received a roller coaster of information from schools, I will definitely, at some point in my life, be writing about how one goes about transferring to both UC's and private schools if you are (like me) a very strange (and interesting! hopefully...) candidate. Not now, because I am too sad and angry and exhausted, but at some point. It will happen. So I can maybe help others.
This post will help me clarify what it is I am actually feeling instead of keeping it all rolling around and boiling up inside, waiting until the last minute when I explode from lack of direction, at which point I will have no idea what it is I really truly WANT to do...
Here is my current status.
UC's...
Santa Barbara - rejected. (didn't meet requirements?)
LA - rejected. (no surprise.)
Santa Cruz - rejected. (SO SURPRISED. Something seems odd and unfair. Should I appeal? Idk.)
Davis - Waitlisted. (Definitely intriguing, but also heartbreaking, for I will have to wait another month.)
Berkeley - Decision out April 27th. (Most likely not getting accepted. Big surprise.)
Private...
NYU, SLC, Tufts, and Wellesley...are all pending until at least mid-May. Do I even still want to venture to the East Coast again? Not particularly, nor do I think I will receive fantastic financial aid packages, but who knows.
Mills... ACCEPTED. Almost enough financial aid awarded to equal tuition of a UC, but should I miraculously get accepted from Davis' waitlist, it is still quite a bit higher due to Davis' prelim package.
So it comes down to Mills, UC Davis' waitlist, and East Coast schools.
Not the best situation to be in.
So now, being who I am, I must devise a plan. I have literally spent the past three days discussing my options with my mother. We plan and worry and plan and worry and plan way too much, but it is clearly a genetic thing...the need to plan our lives in order to decrease the stress.
I think this is the plan...
1. Try to wrap head around going to Mills, which I really only applied to on a whim.
It's an all girls school, it has small classes, one on one time with professors, great public policy program...and it is possible to take classes at Berkeley. I will sign up for the Admitted Students Day, research even more about it, and try to imagine myself and how it would really work for me. Send a deposit by (after asking for an extension!! Woo!) June 1st.
2. My mother and I have enlisted the help of a very knowledgeable admissions lady who offers services to make your application/personal statements/waitlist essays/appeals look the best that they can be for UC's. Perhaps with her insight, my essay of a whopping 200 words will convince Davis to accept me from the waitlist. Who knows. Assuming I send it in by May 15th, I won't know from Davis until June 1st whether I was accepted or rejected.
3. It is possible that in the next three day I might be able to write a letter, gather my transcripts, and ask some poor former professor to write me another letter of recommendation in time for the April 27th deadline to appeal to UC Santa Cruz, but I don't really know if I have "new and compelling" information, nor do I really have the energy to try to do all of this work for a place I maybe would want to go to, or to some place that won't want me even after all of the work.
4. Lastly, I will of course wait to see which East Coast schools accepted or rejected me, which ones wanted me enough to offer money, and then I will have to decide if I can really bring myself to travel all the way across the country for another two years...again...away from everything.
It's a whole lot to think about and I don't know where to begin.
To be perfectly honest, (which is a lot easier to be on here than it is to my mother's face) I really really really really see myself happiest at UC Davis. And NOT, contrary to popular belief, because Scott is there. Who knows where he'll be. He'll have graduated. My point is, I know Davis, I've grown accustomed to Davis, I've actually learned to love Davis. My own downfall here is that I am not as close to going to Davis as I sometimes catch myself think I am...if that makes sense. I know I have the help from this lady, I've written a few essays already to get the juices flowing, I know I could actually really thrive and be happy at Davis...but there are so many factors still in the way of that becoming a reality. What if everyone offered acceptance decides to attend, and there are no spots? What if everyone else on the waitlist are much stronger candidates? Obviously Davis (and only Davis...) saw something in me that was worth looking at again...but who knows?
When I think of Davis, I think of comfort. I think of empowerment and opportunity.
When I think of Mills, I feel scared. The unknown, all girls, Oakland, small classes again...similarities to Hampshire... what if I find myself back in a similar small school, small minded nightmare?
I guess, though, that when it comes down to it, I really could make Mills work. I've done it before, I made friends 3,000 miles away from home, in a different state, a different climate... Maybe the small classes and strong Mills women will be the right place for me to finish this damn degree already.
Yes, I think the best thing to do is learn to love Mills now, make it work, and if, in a month or two, Davis changes their mind, I can reevaluate what I want to do then. But for now, full steam ahead for Mills College.
No comments:
Post a Comment