[Is my title redundant? Hmm.]
I am not what one might call a "religious" person. I do, however, consider myself rather spiritual. Occasionally (or not so occasionally) my particular "spirituality" may result from excess of anxiety, but oh well. That's life. That's me.
In any case, although many who spout the words "everything happens for a reason" are usually referring to some sort of divine power whose "plan" is conducting all of us against our will, I do actually believe everything happens for some reason or another. Let me explain.
Tonight, I was planning on going to a dance performance mostly because little Zofia was talked into being in it for the teacher's sake, and there's a lot of drama I don't need to go into and yadda yadda yadda. I was going to go with an old friend to see some other old friends dance. Scott went to visit buddies for the night, it was just going to be the girls watching dancers and reminiscing.
Well Zofia got sick. Hannah couldn't make it in time. Seemed like it wasn't meant to be.
So now, feeling rather saddened and bored, all dressed up with nowhere to go, I tried to contact friends, especially those who have complained about girls with boyfriends never hanging out with their friends. (Blah blah.) One had plans with her boyfriend, one was babysitting and the other never responded.
So as usual I felt sorry for myself for all of about 5 minutes, pacing and pouting and looking at my phone wondering what shenanigans my boy was up to...and then I realized how wonderful it was going to be to have the following;
1. a night of my own. (My sister was heading off to her boyfriend's for the weekend, thus leaving me with my own empty, pigsty of a room)
2. I have a book and a half to finish in order to discuss with my co-worker in our mini-bookclub. Who doesn't love a night of cozy reading!? (Note to self: post "date girls who read" article. Fabulous stuff)
3. Catch up on cards, gift planning, lists, schedules...all of the anal-retentive, OCD, anxiety driven stuff that Heathers actually enjoy in order to feel better about crazyhecticlife.
So there. Instead of complaining silently about being confined to a night in my house with my buggy family on a Friday night with no friend time or boyfriend time, I realized that all of those plans weren't meant to be. The cosmos were telling me to calm down, sit down, relax, and have a "me" night. Instead of always trying to keep myself busy and functioning, why not have a moment of nothing but clarity?
Tonight's plan wasn't meant to be. And I will have a much better night because of it. Thank you, fate.
